What Happen!!

Dear Diary,

   Today raining day again, sometime i felt i have nothing at all. When i strat working mylife is just nothing that can i do. When start working life, all i have to do is working, go home n sleep. I cannot do what i want.I really hate that when i wana to start something that i wana do and no one can help me, and i can't do by myself. I nd someone who really want to sit and talk to me? I want someone who can listen to me and to to hit me back o ignoring me. when i need someone by my side is no one that i can call/? i duno who is really can help me..my sis?my frens? no is non of them. My sis only noe about herself n onli care about her self i really noe this.sin wen v growth up.. she always think tat no 1 care about her...how about u do u care about your family? u always say v din ask u tis n tat y not happy why so sad? how about u ? do u ask us? u always jealous about me why my parents care me sayang me? do u think your parents din love u? when they wana care u u just push it away n say dun care about her life dun mass out her life. What u say, they reali care n wil be sad to. U are the first 1 who push it away so u can't blame them, u dislike wat they stop u, but u nvr think why they wana to dis to u? u just noe i am freedom now...i n to walk my life...wat kind of stupid sentences is tis?? U always so JI SI think about your own feeling how about your mum?? your dad?? n me? u just noe how to balme ppl n tell your frens how worst is my parents n me sis treat me? can u tell bak your self how u treat your family? how good u r? working lrdy 2 year plas u still canot affort to pay for de car? just noe how to go trip n buy clothes? n spend money lik so easy? n tell bak your mum no money? n say canot give money to your mum? ya u can spend your mum tat u like but can u think bak u  are de first daughter in de house your frens is diffren they have sis borther n still can afford to pay for they parents n no nd them, u are de first 1 u ask bak them your sis gt pay for your mum every month?? do they? do u tell them? u say every month will give money 600 to your mum ??but onli de 1 or second month u pay and few more month u just pay wat?? more less n more less b'cos of ?? goin hong kong goin taiwan goin trip??n always say bak b'cos of my pangkor ??balme bak me tat i din pay n u are de one who ask me to go n u PAY FOR ME HALF tat half is 500 i nd to give? u say de half mean 300 sumthg for each other...tat time i still haven working i really can affort for tis u say u help me pay now u blame everythg to me bak...i really canot think tat how nice trip tat i goin wit u? how nice izit? i always out wit u.. i will feel scard as i duno why i always no ""on chun gam" no protective i feel i better alone more gud..sumthg say treat me sudden say no u pay your self y everyday 1 me pay for u...do u everyday pay for me?do u?? u say u put your family in first ..i really canot feel anythg?? u say u onli come wit us bcos u just de tv let u stay down what kind of word u use to talk to us? n always say v black face to u..what time u coming bak n our face always lik tat de lar...why u come bak should be like marry ground r??welcome n tos guard treat u r? v are not guard v are your family y??always nd to say welcome home happy mou out jor so late onli home??do u think mum nd to day tat to u?? i come bak tat time u oso gt to dis meh??? u just always say n nevr do? u just can do for your frens tat i always noe~~~i really canot do anythg for u anymore...i scared to talk to u i scred to be wit u~~i duno wen i can change tis kind of feeling i hope u sendrii noe lor...plsplspls wat i say u just give aways n                   u will nvr noe how v wana treat u  but u just think tat is nothg ~~tat is nothg~~

Think about yourself!

Dear Diary,

 Today actually is de nice day for me, when she bak start again. I duno why, we always de same, always fight, argue. Is really, our houes Fong Shua not that good. I just wan to be nice, happy and enjoy everyday of my life. She always say, wana to be nice to me...HOw nice? how u treat me? how great u give me? always think that we not good to her, not care about her..? hurt her feeling? about us? what u say to your frens about your family? how u talk to us? how u treat us? how many love u give to us? all?? i dun think so...u reali so "Ji si" do u noe how many time u hurt me, make me cry? make me wana go far away for u? I really no nd to tell my frens they alrdy noe . who u r, what is your character. No nd that i mention o i nd to say.. they every tell me first. your sis reali so " par pei". I duno why, i din that wana get argue wot her, she just angry just i dun think nd to be anry about><" reali duno why she i act tos stupid thg. She reali, think who she are? what she reali are? always promise us sumthg n just de blank promises. She always forget wat i told her , but wen she wan me to listen to her.. i nd to alwasy keep on my mind and rmb it. When i forget she will say, u always din listen to her. I really get crazy lar...HOw much u understand me? How is my life goin wit u? i am very sad everytime u noe that...sumtime treat me gud sumtime scold me sumtime hug u sumtime wana slap me...what is tat...>><<<"" i reali so scared to face u.. reali reali..i scared to talk to u scares to near u o be alone wit u..relii..sumtime onli using me for sumthg...n after that live me alone~~
How sad m i, do u noe??how many day i wan to cry for u?? why?? i always ask that why she also dislike about it...why?? ppl born to learn oso? i ask why izit can disturb u?? sumtime i just full of question marks...she really my sis anot? why can treat me lik tat...i reali wan to be happy onli...
n always nd my help oso canot treat me better...scold bak me??ask me do sum favor to her...also get her scold why???why?? wat is that? i dun understand? u keep my life up side down...Do U noe?? i really give up...i tot wen v growth up sure will be fine...but still de same...wen she hav mani frens family onli gt 2 for her...i reali noe that...family is not de first for u...u speck to me u say it is...but i noe is not that first u always say..
I duno why, always i'm de 1 who face tis, pls i just wan u to noe...family is wat for u? reali wat u did wat u get? i tat reali true? maybe i reali born to let her scold o listen tos word tat not good...just dun care ba~~give me have a gud nite dream^.^

All will be better after today^.^
I noe will beXD