What Happen!!

Dear Diary,

   Today raining day again, sometime i felt i have nothing at all. When i strat working mylife is just nothing that can i do. When start working life, all i have to do is working, go home n sleep. I cannot do what i want.I really hate that when i wana to start something that i wana do and no one can help me, and i can't do by myself. I nd someone who really want to sit and talk to me? I want someone who can listen to me and to to hit me back o ignoring me. when i need someone by my side is no one that i can call/? i duno who is really can help me..my sis?my frens? no is non of them. My sis only noe about herself n onli care about her self i really noe this.sin wen v growth up.. she always think tat no 1 care about her...how about u do u care about your family? u always say v din ask u tis n tat y not happy why so sad? how about u ? do u ask us? u always jealous about me why my parents care me sayang me? do u think your parents din love u? when they wana care u u just push it away n say dun care about her life dun mass out her life. What u say, they reali care n wil be sad to. U are the first 1 who push it away so u can't blame them, u dislike wat they stop u, but u nvr think why they wana to dis to u? u just noe i am freedom now...i n to walk my life...wat kind of stupid sentences is tis?? U always so JI SI think about your own feeling how about your mum?? your dad?? n me? u just noe how to balme ppl n tell your frens how worst is my parents n me sis treat me? can u tell bak your self how u treat your family? how good u r? working lrdy 2 year plas u still canot affort to pay for de car? just noe how to go trip n buy clothes? n spend money lik so easy? n tell bak your mum no money? n say canot give money to your mum? ya u can spend your mum tat u like but can u think bak u  are de first daughter in de house your frens is diffren they have sis borther n still can afford to pay for they parents n no nd them, u are de first 1 u ask bak them your sis gt pay for your mum every month?? do they? do u tell them? u say every month will give money 600 to your mum ??but onli de 1 or second month u pay and few more month u just pay wat?? more less n more less b'cos of ?? goin hong kong goin taiwan goin trip??n always say bak b'cos of my pangkor ??balme bak me tat i din pay n u are de one who ask me to go n u PAY FOR ME HALF tat half is 500 i nd to give? u say de half mean 300 sumthg for each other...tat time i still haven working i really can affort for tis u say u help me pay now u blame everythg to me bak...i really canot think tat how nice trip tat i goin wit u? how nice izit? i always out wit u.. i will feel scard as i duno why i always no ""on chun gam" no protective i feel i better alone more gud..sumthg say treat me sudden say no u pay your self y everyday 1 me pay for u...do u everyday pay for me?do u?? u say u put your family in first ..i really canot feel anythg?? u say u onli come wit us bcos u just de tv let u stay down what kind of word u use to talk to us? n always say v black face to u..what time u coming bak n our face always lik tat de lar...why u come bak should be like marry ground r??welcome n tos guard treat u r? v are not guard v are your family y??always nd to say welcome home happy mou out jor so late onli home??do u think mum nd to day tat to u?? i come bak tat time u oso gt to dis meh??? u just always say n nevr do? u just can do for your frens tat i always noe~~~i really canot do anythg for u anymore...i scared to talk to u i scred to be wit u~~i duno wen i can change tis kind of feeling i hope u sendrii noe lor...plsplspls wat i say u just give aways n                   u will nvr noe how v wana treat u  but u just think tat is nothg ~~tat is nothg~~

Think about yourself!

Dear Diary,

 Today actually is de nice day for me, when she bak start again. I duno why, we always de same, always fight, argue. Is really, our houes Fong Shua not that good. I just wan to be nice, happy and enjoy everyday of my life. She always say, wana to be nice to me...HOw nice? how u treat me? how great u give me? always think that we not good to her, not care about her..? hurt her feeling? about us? what u say to your frens about your family? how u talk to us? how u treat us? how many love u give to us? all?? i dun think so...u reali so "Ji si" do u noe how many time u hurt me, make me cry? make me wana go far away for u? I really no nd to tell my frens they alrdy noe . who u r, what is your character. No nd that i mention o i nd to say.. they every tell me first. your sis reali so " par pei". I duno why, i din that wana get argue wot her, she just angry just i dun think nd to be anry about><" reali duno why she i act tos stupid thg. She reali, think who she are? what she reali are? always promise us sumthg n just de blank promises. She always forget wat i told her , but wen she wan me to listen to her.. i nd to alwasy keep on my mind and rmb it. When i forget she will say, u always din listen to her. I really get crazy lar...HOw much u understand me? How is my life goin wit u? i am very sad everytime u noe that...sumtime treat me gud sumtime scold me sumtime hug u sumtime wana slap me...what is tat...>><<<"" i reali so scared to face u.. reali reali..i scared to talk to u scares to near u o be alone wit u..relii..sumtime onli using me for sumthg...n after that live me alone~~
How sad m i, do u noe??how many day i wan to cry for u?? why?? i always ask that why she also dislike about it...why?? ppl born to learn oso? i ask why izit can disturb u?? sumtime i just full of question marks...she really my sis anot? why can treat me lik tat...i reali wan to be happy onli...
n always nd my help oso canot treat me better...scold bak me??ask me do sum favor to her...also get her scold why???why?? wat is that? i dun understand? u keep my life up side down...Do U noe?? i really give up...i tot wen v growth up sure will be fine...but still de same...wen she hav mani frens family onli gt 2 for her...i reali noe that...family is not de first for u...u speck to me u say it is...but i noe is not that first u always say..
I duno why, always i'm de 1 who face tis, pls i just wan u to noe...family is wat for u? reali wat u did wat u get? i tat reali true? maybe i reali born to let her scold o listen tos word tat not good...just dun care ba~~give me have a gud nite dream^.^

All will be better after today^.^
I noe will beXD

今天，我永远记得

 Dear Diary,

    Today is raining day again, last few day i dream about world end. My house was crush and everywhere was look horrible. I hope this dream is just always a dream, will be NOT happen. I stilll have alot of thing haven do b4 haven start to0. I still haven get my job, never couple b4, haven get wat i want and i still nd to have my own family and children. Sumtime i always think that, i will be alone? i will alone gone true everything? But v can't image n cannot know what will gona happen for our future and our life..

But my life now..i think is not that bad is not that good too...i din blame everyone, i just think why i always like wasting my time and doin nothing? I reali damn lazy. Tomolo will be my another interview goin i hope this time reali get my job and i dun wan to choose anymore and wait anymore..i dun care far o near now...This is de most near alrdy, i reali lazy and tired to find anymore..is like wasting my time now and i nd money n pay bak my sis..I reali hate to own her money. Always fight wit her..i reali hearts broken. She always never think about people and always know how to think about herself~~ I noe is good wen u think more about yourself..But in family u reali cannot did that..wat u reali did to your family now..everyone like scared u n like dun dare to talk to u...why i always told u..u just ok n give away??WHY??? Do u still rmb, u onli have 1 mum 1 dad n onli 1 sis.. i dun care u dun lik me...pls dun show off infrony your parents and your sis..n dun show your face...u reali dun understand your parents n family. I never say that i'm understand them veli much but at list i noe what is goin on and what they said to me. I rmb they say, if u always think about yourself i reali can't help. In the end, u will always gt noting.Reali is true~~

by,

Joey

Happii to be Unhapii~

 Dear Diary,
   
      This is always my feeling, always n always come to me~ I dunno why? me n her cannot be together. Just sit awhile after that will be mess around. She scold me, angry me, jelin me, say tos unhappy word to me. I reali dunno why, why why others sister can be so good to each others..v???always n always fight. Now more worst than last time, when she start workin she gt more frens, become more high class, me is just medium i cannot ''pui em hey Hui". This i really 100% noe, is right. I feel lik wanna to slap her, i reali hate her so much~i dun understand why she always treat me lik tis. i like her doll, sumtime good mood come n play wit u, sumtime just leaves u alone put others side, sumtime when angry o unhappi come to u n scold u slap u...I really gona be crazy. She make me cry more than happy...this is always come on my mind. What she do for me...dun say u sumime give me 50 ringgit is cal as sayang me, o give half for de trip is call love me, bring me go gai gai is call veli hav "ji mui" wit me...No No n No....she always say how love she love her family, how love she had reali put in dis family?how many percent? 100%, 50% o just 10%??
This is why i always wan to work oversea, o work far away, o i can leaves far away than i won be wit her so much~no nd to she her so much..lik last time i studies in the one academy, I always busy for my assg...oso no time to talk to her n fight wit her. But , how busy am i she oso can find sumthg n scold me...like i din help lar..i din wash plate lar...I reali reali can tahna...i reali wan to say HEY WHEN ALREDY START WORKIN U ALRDY DIN HELP AT ALL IS AT ALL..WASH CAR, WASH PLATE, HELP COOK, LAP DE FLOOR, CLEAN DE TOILET AND HELP MUM DO THG...U REALI DIN DO ANYTHG ANYMORE..you always say that, mum dun give u drive, u c how is your character, help her do sumthg, just sumthg she oso,,black face, scold, angry...tis is wat she always n always show us...
i reali tired wit her alrdy, i give up,,,i won tell her wat i'm thinking anymore, wat is will happen between us i duno, i think better dun talk is de best for us~
I hate her show face to me
No matter how hard i try but reali din work..she always think she is de rite one and always her frens is de supporter n always love her...this is wat she always think~~Family BAD family ish~~~family......

Between Us is Just Nothing at all~

Dear Dairy, 

    

      When i was born, i come to tis world. I just noe how to cry, how sleep and eat. When i growth up, teenage, i just study, go sckul, play wit frens, wit family and learn to new things. So, be adult. I come to de real world, start goin college life studies and now comes to working life. This is wat is everyone need to face and going true. I now everyone need to face whatever problem, like happy,sad,emotion, logical, stress,physical and more.... 

     I was a daughter of 1 family, I have father,mother and 1 elder sister. I'm the younger ones..when i was child everyone love me take care of me. When i was teenager, my real live is start. I start to studies also know how to get angry,scold, unhappii, and who is be real to me. I learn sumthing in primary skul and secondary. When i was in teenager, my life goin true many problem. Frens problem, is the most happen in secondary skul. Ppl around will start noe how to acting, show face, be lies and not truly like you talk bak about you. After pass this, go to college life, is more horribly than when in high skul. Fight for assg, fight for mark, n talk behind of you~Is like an evil comes around you~

  Now i graduated, diploma in advertising and graphic designer~ Looking for job and will be face the really real world.

  However this what i face, all i still can handle. when comes to family, this is always make me very stress and always go around my head. I really dunno how to face and how to handle it thing in this part of my family. Always keep my mind think what wrong is going on?What happen? Why this and why that? izit i always the being the wrong one? o i really the wrong one???Who can answer my question??

Until now i still keep fighting with her. Why??I already tell myself dun care lar..just do just face just keep nothing...is nothing..this is her character i cannot change her..she is being like that to me..i cannot do anythg~~not to be to family also~I always tell myself wanna to be happy i just want to Be a Happy person only~~Wan to be Happy..forget and forgive~Why i can't ler..Why why???can wash my brain har...wash all the unhappy thing. I must really go find job and i dun care just ot o work late ~~i dun care lar...~everythg i can face it..but i just hate to be face wit her~

   This is always very hard for me to face and always the big problem in my life~She always think, what she so is rite and what i say is wrong, not wrong and do lik to listen. I always jealous ppl why others can so sweet wit thr sister n brother.Why i always fight wit my sis, i already keep inside my heart, dun care dun wan to be angry and do want fight with her. She always say, me ''sui hei" and how to face the real world. Everythg that she tell me, said to me tell me, i always will keep inside my hearts and rite thing i will keep in my mind. But sumtime when i say to her...what i'm think she will terbalik scold me, angry me, fight wit me. Just like today, i was play wit her and veli ''sei seng" ask her can c mou? the coupon~n she din choi me mah~ so i mei 8poh~ wah she show her angry face n socld me "CAN YOU WAIT R"?I was wat the f**k in my heart...she like tell me wait awhile oso cannot r..i say u ignore me mah~~i just 8poh onli wor..u call me 48poh, soh po, chi po, sei choon...i din show face i din angry i just play bak wit her...if she play to me~what de hell i really dunno how to face her..i really so tired..i dun care tired doin assg doin housework, i just very tired to face her...i dunno when she will be good to me, i dunno when she will come n sayang me, o dunno when she will treat me good o be nice to me~I cannot guess what she goin to do wit me? i really dunno...I always sacred be wit her, i dunno why i have this kind of feeling~ sumtime she will treat me nice'' Come i give half money let you go pangkor...u just pay half i pay half to u" than terbalik tell me ask me pay RM500. OMG! this is not half this is alredy pay more than half~nvm, i din really promise i am goin, b'cos i noe i dun hav money now..no working, how i pay bak her. I know goin trip wit her, i dunno wat will happen?i dunno i will be de hapii 1 o onli she is the happii 1? She bring me to go for take nice pic for her, and capture n edit for her...in her life ME is what?do i reali important? do she really love me? she treat me as a small sis? 

  I always think what she did to me b4? What she say to me b4? I always think tat she did to me?i always rmb~~i keep all inside my heart><" i knoe this is really like myself being hurt..Always spend her time wit her friends more than family, all the rite is on friends more than family??What she always think~~

She always keep saying, mum dun let her drive dun let her out, dun let her late home, sis..what u do for her?your mum just nd your help you oso can't did it for her..She say me bak, this is not the problem, i all days working, me veli tired de..i also gt stress de..i gt off day sure nd to rest de... still nd to do housework r?sis i nd to tell u your mum oso work in no aircorn place n nd to carry heavy thing.YOU onli serve member, reply mail, take magazine and answer call~~what so tired are you~u walk around k..tired u carry think wall around meh?just past a paper to hotels walk until thr oso give u 15 min tired?i reali wat the f**k her lor...i reali dun think is tired until u cannot help awhile lor...i still help her recover, help her wash n tell my mum is sis wash de..why i am do stupid..i won do tis stupid thing anymore...i won help her anymore, when i work i really wan to slp another room, buy air-corn for myself and pay my own bills phone. I dun wan ''him" her so much~~i really dun wan spend her 1sent..I TELL MYSELF PLS DUN BE SO SELFISH WIT FAMILY~

HOW YOU TREAT A PERSON

HOW THAT PERSON TREAT YOU BACK

HOW YOU TREAT YOU FAMILY

HOW THE SON O YOUR DAUGHTER TREAT YOU BAK~

THIS IS ALWAYS WHAT I'M THINKING~

She think she is rite everyth she do and think is rite...

when come bak your are ppl mothers you will noe how hard is your mum

b'cos your character n your attitude will come to your daughter o son~

Will be true?

Is that true?

i dunno yet~~^.^

I tell myself dun be stupid person 

be a clever one 

but dun show off

be the truster one

let ppl trust you

let ppl knoe you r good

u are nice n true one

...............................

This is come again~

  What is really happen to us?what goin on? WHY WHY WHY?? why human love to play why human cannot think it truth properly ?? jUst noe how to hang out spend money go shop yam cha chit cha~~~I just want to know izit this is what really people want?I always think tat yam cha hang out is nothing~ this is really everyday u can do...but pls...think it right? do u think u can do dis always? and so u think this is always your right to do? What wrong this is just nothing, just spend some f my time wit frens cannot? spend money wit frens, and i just want freedom..this is my right~  u do everythg is right? what u do is reali rite and really good perfect for yourself? DO u ever think about your family?parents? In your mind i can read it ttrow u onli love your frens~ u wan your frens always beside you..You think tat parents always ignore you, never treat u good, never love you, and always spoil your mood and always think your r not right~ you think in your world oni your frens will always support you~ Dear your frens cannot give your all u want~ thy onli beside you just can hav fun wit u make u laugh but wen you say parents they are always beside you and give u HOME! wer u live wer u eat is always they give it to u~ wen u small kids time...who protect you who spebd time wit u who play wit u...who let u eat drink and give u home~
wen some of your frens leave you, u will die pls...u onli will run back to your family~ u now onli noe, my frens always support what i do. Of cos they oso same wit u..same age, same thinking smae mind~ i cannot say that my frens can give me all wat i want~ give love to u,giv hug o u, giv money to you,
Frens love you more than others?frens need you  always? your frens always keep you by your side? your frens always want you be wit her or him? Thnk it rite~ your spend your time more than your family more ..what your family want u dunno, what is really happen wit your family u dunno...b'cos u already spend all your time wit your frens. Now wat your mum think? you just think she always scold you never support wat u do, never love you, hate you, SHE JUST GT 1 THINK DUN WAN U LATE HOME.THIS IS WHAT SHE WAS ALWAYS ANGRY YOU. because you cannot do for her..tats why she always angry you dun let u drive dun wan talk to you.

I really no eyes c anymore...i dun care anymore..i cannot help anymore..!!if you always think tat you are right!better do all wat u wan~b4 your parents die...i think u would oso de same?i reali dunno~

Morning is glory night is danger

 Yesterday when out wit my friends shopping wit them at MidVelly~ I feel so good and enjoy everything ~ V shop around, buy stuff and i bought cheep things..I very Happy in de morning until noon~ The thing come again to me...I already expected  tis day will come and always will come~ i never think this is really always will happen to us~
 I just wan easy life easy way and i just wan IJUST WAN my family happy and healthy always...This is wat i  always pray and always i need~ I never think about me first ..family always first to me..I noe Family is very important to me~ On her, she keep telling me, i oso de same~ reali??really true...dis i really dunno...Maybe i really dun understand her..o maybe she dun let ppl to understand her?
She always said that, v always show her face...adui~ wat time u always at home...v not show face is TIRED FACE~ u around 12 sumthg o 1 onli reach home...still wan to show wat face...''Welcome HOME ya..darling? U alredy noe you mum angry wat?angry b'cos u late home angry b'cos u din help her? angry b'cos u do promise her and din do anything~ Just a little thing u oso can help her..U onli now wah!Always angry always scold me...I already 24 i already adult not a small kids? Who dunno...she born u out and wat is always on her mind is protect her daughter~ She scared her daughter will hav accident out side? she scared her daughter gt danger?  She always scared that her daughter cannot take care herself~ b'cos MUmmy always like tat~ When u become mother...de worry ness is just de same to u~ Hello! world now is 2011~ now ppl is very fake and cannot be trusted and outside many thing can happen~

 She always dunno, ppl not scold u b'cos u din sumthg wrong o u din sumthg terrible at outside...no 1 think u did sumthg like that..your mum is caring u love u onli scold u...she wan her daughter always be save and onli she can sleep well~

 Yesterday when she fire up~ i reali very angry~ i think if i din use her phone this wont be happen? if i din use her money o she pay me money this will never happen? if i din lean her stuff this will not happen? everything is related wit her...sure will happen sumthg~ sure will fire up and sure will fight~
I really dunno why? Truly i really scared my sis, when i wan to talk to her..o  i wan to borrow sumthg i will scared i will think first, wat she will say..do she scold me? angry me? show me face? o mention me ? In my hearts she always let me dun trust her dun wan to talk to her...scared of her..angry wit her. She make me scared her, she make me very ''san fu''. I really want to talk alot wit my sis, when v start talk..i am de listener and when i say she will cannot li tat lar..not dis lar not tat lar...she will never stand my side n c...she always think me is kids mind and say thing is small kids~ This is wat she think about me~ She say, she is always de one who ''tam me'' and when v fight she is always de 1 talk to me first~ pls..b'cos am i scared of u~ so i better dun talk to u...than u will never scold me~ In my mind she always scold me, angry me, say f**k to me~ Actually i hate my family say bad word to me o to my family~ I dun lik it..b'cos in family tis kind of word cannot be out in family mouth~
 Second i will scared her until i dunno wat to say to her and scared until i better dun talk much..sumtime scared until dun care wat she say..just keep inside my hearts better..O write out~ she is monster to me? hahaxx