今天，我永远记得

 Dear Diary,

    Today is raining day again, last few day i dream about world end. My house was crush and everywhere was look horrible. I hope this dream is just always a dream, will be NOT happen. I stilll have alot of thing haven do b4 haven start to0. I still haven get my job, never couple b4, haven get wat i want and i still nd to have my own family and children. Sumtime i always think that, i will be alone? i will alone gone true everything? But v can't image n cannot know what will gona happen for our future and our life..

But my life now..i think is not that bad is not that good too...i din blame everyone, i just think why i always like wasting my time and doin nothing? I reali damn lazy. Tomolo will be my another interview goin i hope this time reali get my job and i dun wan to choose anymore and wait anymore..i dun care far o near now...This is de most near alrdy, i reali lazy and tired to find anymore..is like wasting my time now and i nd money n pay bak my sis..I reali hate to own her money. Always fight wit her..i reali hearts broken. She always never think about people and always know how to think about herself~~ I noe is good wen u think more about yourself..But in family u reali cannot did that..wat u reali did to your family now..everyone like scared u n like dun dare to talk to u...why i always told u..u just ok n give away??WHY??? Do u still rmb, u onli have 1 mum 1 dad n onli 1 sis.. i dun care u dun lik me...pls dun show off infrony your parents and your sis..n dun show your face...u reali dun understand your parents n family. I never say that i'm understand them veli much but at list i noe what is goin on and what they said to me. I rmb they say, if u always think about yourself i reali can't help. In the end, u will always gt noting.Reali is true~~

by,

Joey

Happii to be Unhapii~

 Dear Diary,
   
      This is always my feeling, always n always come to me~ I dunno why? me n her cannot be together. Just sit awhile after that will be mess around. She scold me, angry me, jelin me, say tos unhappy word to me. I reali dunno why, why why others sister can be so good to each others..v???always n always fight. Now more worst than last time, when she start workin she gt more frens, become more high class, me is just medium i cannot ''pui em hey Hui". This i really 100% noe, is right. I feel lik wanna to slap her, i reali hate her so much~i dun understand why she always treat me lik tis. i like her doll, sumtime good mood come n play wit u, sumtime just leaves u alone put others side, sumtime when angry o unhappi come to u n scold u slap u...I really gona be crazy. She make me cry more than happy...this is always come on my mind. What she do for me...dun say u sumime give me 50 ringgit is cal as sayang me, o give half for de trip is call love me, bring me go gai gai is call veli hav "ji mui" wit me...No No n No....she always say how love she love her family, how love she had reali put in dis family?how many percent? 100%, 50% o just 10%??
This is why i always wan to work oversea, o work far away, o i can leaves far away than i won be wit her so much~no nd to she her so much..lik last time i studies in the one academy, I always busy for my assg...oso no time to talk to her n fight wit her. But , how busy am i she oso can find sumthg n scold me...like i din help lar..i din wash plate lar...I reali reali can tahna...i reali wan to say HEY WHEN ALREDY START WORKIN U ALRDY DIN HELP AT ALL IS AT ALL..WASH CAR, WASH PLATE, HELP COOK, LAP DE FLOOR, CLEAN DE TOILET AND HELP MUM DO THG...U REALI DIN DO ANYTHG ANYMORE..you always say that, mum dun give u drive, u c how is your character, help her do sumthg, just sumthg she oso,,black face, scold, angry...tis is wat she always n always show us...
i reali tired wit her alrdy, i give up,,,i won tell her wat i'm thinking anymore, wat is will happen between us i duno, i think better dun talk is de best for us~
I hate her show face to me
No matter how hard i try but reali din work..she always think she is de rite one and always her frens is de supporter n always love her...this is wat she always think~~Family BAD family ish~~~family......

Between Us is Just Nothing at all~

Dear Dairy, 

    

      When i was born, i come to tis world. I just noe how to cry, how sleep and eat. When i growth up, teenage, i just study, go sckul, play wit frens, wit family and learn to new things. So, be adult. I come to de real world, start goin college life studies and now comes to working life. This is wat is everyone need to face and going true. I now everyone need to face whatever problem, like happy,sad,emotion, logical, stress,physical and more.... 

     I was a daughter of 1 family, I have father,mother and 1 elder sister. I'm the younger ones..when i was child everyone love me take care of me. When i was teenager, my real live is start. I start to studies also know how to get angry,scold, unhappii, and who is be real to me. I learn sumthing in primary skul and secondary. When i was in teenager, my life goin true many problem. Frens problem, is the most happen in secondary skul. Ppl around will start noe how to acting, show face, be lies and not truly like you talk bak about you. After pass this, go to college life, is more horribly than when in high skul. Fight for assg, fight for mark, n talk behind of you~Is like an evil comes around you~

  Now i graduated, diploma in advertising and graphic designer~ Looking for job and will be face the really real world.

  However this what i face, all i still can handle. when comes to family, this is always make me very stress and always go around my head. I really dunno how to face and how to handle it thing in this part of my family. Always keep my mind think what wrong is going on?What happen? Why this and why that? izit i always the being the wrong one? o i really the wrong one???Who can answer my question??

Until now i still keep fighting with her. Why??I already tell myself dun care lar..just do just face just keep nothing...is nothing..this is her character i cannot change her..she is being like that to me..i cannot do anythg~~not to be to family also~I always tell myself wanna to be happy i just want to Be a Happy person only~~Wan to be Happy..forget and forgive~Why i can't ler..Why why???can wash my brain har...wash all the unhappy thing. I must really go find job and i dun care just ot o work late ~~i dun care lar...~everythg i can face it..but i just hate to be face wit her~

   This is always very hard for me to face and always the big problem in my life~She always think, what she so is rite and what i say is wrong, not wrong and do lik to listen. I always jealous ppl why others can so sweet wit thr sister n brother.Why i always fight wit my sis, i already keep inside my heart, dun care dun wan to be angry and do want fight with her. She always say, me ''sui hei" and how to face the real world. Everythg that she tell me, said to me tell me, i always will keep inside my hearts and rite thing i will keep in my mind. But sumtime when i say to her...what i'm think she will terbalik scold me, angry me, fight wit me. Just like today, i was play wit her and veli ''sei seng" ask her can c mou? the coupon~n she din choi me mah~ so i mei 8poh~ wah she show her angry face n socld me "CAN YOU WAIT R"?I was wat the f**k in my heart...she like tell me wait awhile oso cannot r..i say u ignore me mah~~i just 8poh onli wor..u call me 48poh, soh po, chi po, sei choon...i din show face i din angry i just play bak wit her...if she play to me~what de hell i really dunno how to face her..i really so tired..i dun care tired doin assg doin housework, i just very tired to face her...i dunno when she will be good to me, i dunno when she will come n sayang me, o dunno when she will treat me good o be nice to me~I cannot guess what she goin to do wit me? i really dunno...I always sacred be wit her, i dunno why i have this kind of feeling~ sumtime she will treat me nice'' Come i give half money let you go pangkor...u just pay half i pay half to u" than terbalik tell me ask me pay RM500. OMG! this is not half this is alredy pay more than half~nvm, i din really promise i am goin, b'cos i noe i dun hav money now..no working, how i pay bak her. I know goin trip wit her, i dunno wat will happen?i dunno i will be de hapii 1 o onli she is the happii 1? She bring me to go for take nice pic for her, and capture n edit for her...in her life ME is what?do i reali important? do she really love me? she treat me as a small sis? 

  I always think what she did to me b4? What she say to me b4? I always think tat she did to me?i always rmb~~i keep all inside my heart><" i knoe this is really like myself being hurt..Always spend her time wit her friends more than family, all the rite is on friends more than family??What she always think~~

She always keep saying, mum dun let her drive dun let her out, dun let her late home, sis..what u do for her?your mum just nd your help you oso can't did it for her..She say me bak, this is not the problem, i all days working, me veli tired de..i also gt stress de..i gt off day sure nd to rest de... still nd to do housework r?sis i nd to tell u your mum oso work in no aircorn place n nd to carry heavy thing.YOU onli serve member, reply mail, take magazine and answer call~~what so tired are you~u walk around k..tired u carry think wall around meh?just past a paper to hotels walk until thr oso give u 15 min tired?i reali wat the f**k her lor...i reali dun think is tired until u cannot help awhile lor...i still help her recover, help her wash n tell my mum is sis wash de..why i am do stupid..i won do tis stupid thing anymore...i won help her anymore, when i work i really wan to slp another room, buy air-corn for myself and pay my own bills phone. I dun wan ''him" her so much~~i really dun wan spend her 1sent..I TELL MYSELF PLS DUN BE SO SELFISH WIT FAMILY~

HOW YOU TREAT A PERSON

HOW THAT PERSON TREAT YOU BACK

HOW YOU TREAT YOU FAMILY

HOW THE SON O YOUR DAUGHTER TREAT YOU BAK~

THIS IS ALWAYS WHAT I'M THINKING~

She think she is rite everyth she do and think is rite...

when come bak your are ppl mothers you will noe how hard is your mum

b'cos your character n your attitude will come to your daughter o son~

Will be true?

Is that true?

i dunno yet~~^.^

I tell myself dun be stupid person 

be a clever one 

but dun show off

be the truster one

let ppl trust you

let ppl knoe you r good

u are nice n true one

...............................

This is come again~

  What is really happen to us?what goin on? WHY WHY WHY?? why human love to play why human cannot think it truth properly ?? jUst noe how to hang out spend money go shop yam cha chit cha~~~I just want to know izit this is what really people want?I always think tat yam cha hang out is nothing~ this is really everyday u can do...but pls...think it right? do u think u can do dis always? and so u think this is always your right to do? What wrong this is just nothing, just spend some f my time wit frens cannot? spend money wit frens, and i just want freedom..this is my right~  u do everythg is right? what u do is reali rite and really good perfect for yourself? DO u ever think about your family?parents? In your mind i can read it ttrow u onli love your frens~ u wan your frens always beside you..You think tat parents always ignore you, never treat u good, never love you, and always spoil your mood and always think your r not right~ you think in your world oni your frens will always support you~ Dear your frens cannot give your all u want~ thy onli beside you just can hav fun wit u make u laugh but wen you say parents they are always beside you and give u HOME! wer u live wer u eat is always they give it to u~ wen u small kids time...who protect you who spebd time wit u who play wit u...who let u eat drink and give u home~
wen some of your frens leave you, u will die pls...u onli will run back to your family~ u now onli noe, my frens always support what i do. Of cos they oso same wit u..same age, same thinking smae mind~ i cannot say that my frens can give me all wat i want~ give love to u,giv hug o u, giv money to you,
Frens love you more than others?frens need you  always? your frens always keep you by your side? your frens always want you be wit her or him? Thnk it rite~ your spend your time more than your family more ..what your family want u dunno, what is really happen wit your family u dunno...b'cos u already spend all your time wit your frens. Now wat your mum think? you just think she always scold you never support wat u do, never love you, hate you, SHE JUST GT 1 THINK DUN WAN U LATE HOME.THIS IS WHAT SHE WAS ALWAYS ANGRY YOU. because you cannot do for her..tats why she always angry you dun let u drive dun wan talk to you.

I really no eyes c anymore...i dun care anymore..i cannot help anymore..!!if you always think tat you are right!better do all wat u wan~b4 your parents die...i think u would oso de same?i reali dunno~

Morning is glory night is danger

 Yesterday when out wit my friends shopping wit them at MidVelly~ I feel so good and enjoy everything ~ V shop around, buy stuff and i bought cheep things..I very Happy in de morning until noon~ The thing come again to me...I already expected  tis day will come and always will come~ i never think this is really always will happen to us~
 I just wan easy life easy way and i just wan IJUST WAN my family happy and healthy always...This is wat i  always pray and always i need~ I never think about me first ..family always first to me..I noe Family is very important to me~ On her, she keep telling me, i oso de same~ reali??really true...dis i really dunno...Maybe i really dun understand her..o maybe she dun let ppl to understand her?
She always said that, v always show her face...adui~ wat time u always at home...v not show face is TIRED FACE~ u around 12 sumthg o 1 onli reach home...still wan to show wat face...''Welcome HOME ya..darling? U alredy noe you mum angry wat?angry b'cos u late home angry b'cos u din help her? angry b'cos u do promise her and din do anything~ Just a little thing u oso can help her..U onli now wah!Always angry always scold me...I already 24 i already adult not a small kids? Who dunno...she born u out and wat is always on her mind is protect her daughter~ She scared her daughter will hav accident out side? she scared her daughter gt danger?  She always scared that her daughter cannot take care herself~ b'cos MUmmy always like tat~ When u become mother...de worry ness is just de same to u~ Hello! world now is 2011~ now ppl is very fake and cannot be trusted and outside many thing can happen~

 She always dunno, ppl not scold u b'cos u din sumthg wrong o u din sumthg terrible at outside...no 1 think u did sumthg like that..your mum is caring u love u onli scold u...she wan her daughter always be save and onli she can sleep well~

 Yesterday when she fire up~ i reali very angry~ i think if i din use her phone this wont be happen? if i din use her money o she pay me money this will never happen? if i din lean her stuff this will not happen? everything is related wit her...sure will happen sumthg~ sure will fire up and sure will fight~
I really dunno why? Truly i really scared my sis, when i wan to talk to her..o  i wan to borrow sumthg i will scared i will think first, wat she will say..do she scold me? angry me? show me face? o mention me ? In my hearts she always let me dun trust her dun wan to talk to her...scared of her..angry wit her. She make me scared her, she make me very ''san fu''. I really want to talk alot wit my sis, when v start talk..i am de listener and when i say she will cannot li tat lar..not dis lar not tat lar...she will never stand my side n c...she always think me is kids mind and say thing is small kids~ This is wat she think about me~ She say, she is always de one who ''tam me'' and when v fight she is always de 1 talk to me first~ pls..b'cos am i scared of u~ so i better dun talk to u...than u will never scold me~ In my mind she always scold me, angry me, say f**k to me~ Actually i hate my family say bad word to me o to my family~ I dun lik it..b'cos in family tis kind of word cannot be out in family mouth~
 Second i will scared her until i dunno wat to say to her and scared until i better dun talk much..sumtime scared until dun care wat she say..just keep inside my hearts better..O write out~ she is monster to me? hahaxx

Just The Day~

 Just another day, today is raining day. My dad and I was in home and on 1 out for lunch at Old Town. Suddenly found that, haven push back de clothes in car park><" all the clothes is wet again T.T. Than de windows din close T.T today really bad for me...i wash again de clothes de car and my dad mop de floor ^.^

Hate That You Ad Dunno

 Day and a day, nothing is change. Always to be a little gurl that dun understanding at all? Pretend dunno what people feeling? Young generation, pls b4 you think about yourself pls think back de older. They always is part of your life. You need to carry them until they live you. Never think that, someday they will live you and they will never by your side? o you just dun care at all? why always ned to gt fight only you happy? Dun just ignore..This is not a choice. This is not that matter, at list you do something for them, but you always do nothing? just wan to go more high end? more jewelry? pls forget about this first. You will be regret 1 day..when you lost something~

NOT IN THE MOOD~

  When you stay so long in same place~ You will feel very bored and you will think so many unexpected and ridicules. I was, always stay at home and do nothing. This is really so upsad and very boring. No work, no money, no shopping, like no life. Is like a people without anything and like wasting my time. I dunno why, at night I only got energy and only wan to start to work on it. I really want to start my portfolio  ler lar..and need to start find work~~I need a job now...i need money i wan to work to spend my time....I wan do everything and won wasted my time^.^ I wish i will get my nice pretty job and a good salary~~God pls bless me get a job Thank you

Is all about m3

  I was in holiday mood again, this time hanging out wit my high school friends. They always is my best buddy to hang out and shopping around BB area. We always hang around bb area won far than others place, is the most nearest place than v can hang around. Now i really very free and nothing to do, always hang out with frens than yam cha and shop around...I like wasting my time~ i wan to find a job and get my first salary and buy my new iphone and ipad2..This is my first expect and i hope than really dream come true^.^
   Already so long din meet my college friends. Maybe this Sat will join them dinner but, elaine say plan celebration 21 birthday with us ><" until now oso no voice no sound><" i think maybe din work de lar...just join Yilin thr all dinner ba =.="hahax. Maybe they already forget to tell me ler..and forget about me ler...T.T never mind i still got tos happiness memory with them^.6

The all day long,
Still many days to go,
Just dun worry to much,
All will be find.

Blank Work

 To me blank word is just a non promises to me. People tell u sometime but doesn't mean is true and sometime will just say and is nothing true to you. When you really trust someone, but the someone always lie on you. This is rally break you and the someone trusted on you. People say, this world no one you can be trusted but only one of your family is true to you. But sometime, you also cannot hope to must. This is what happen to me between my family. I really dun understand her, she is my sister. She is only one of my sister. I never thing that she will always lie on me. Promise thing and didn't working out~ Blank promises. I hate this so must, when i always trusted her, at last what she did? Just give me ''fei war''.

  When you really trusted that person and break your promises what will you do? I will never trust that person anymore? Or I just don't care about? Or I just give up? Or I will really hate that person??? What should we do? What you will do?

                                           Never ever again....